Jokes page

Jokes

www.humanists.freeserve.co.uk

Some people, who have never heard of Humanists, think it refers to humorists! So as not to disappoint such visitors, here are a few favourite jokes....

Joke Files

Click the list below to go to the jokes you want:

“Good afternoon! I want to talk to you for a few moments about juvenile crime”

Religion


	Advice


	Partners in Life


					“I never told you? Well, you certainly never told me you were an atheist too!”

Religion

Overheard:

“I understand your wife converted you to religion?”
“Oh yes. I didn’t believe in hell until I married her.”

Answers: The Bible, according to howlers made by students
David, A Hebrew king, fought with the philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon had five hundred wives and five hundred porcupines.
One of their children, Cain, once asked: “Am I my brother’s son?”
Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark

Noah brought the animals into the ark in pears

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of wife by night

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had a lot of trouble with unsympathetic Genitals

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple

The seventh commandment is “Thou shalt not admit adultery”

The epistles were the wives of the apostles

Convent Life:

The novice nun approached the Mother Superior, “Reverend Mother, there’s a case of syphlis in the convent”. The Mother Superior said, “Oh, good, I am getting sick of the beaujolais!”


Philosophy


		“ ... it’s all a question of getting your priorities right, Emma ...”



	“What a beautiful day!”


	Kids

	“Son, you’re a pig. Do you know what a pig is?” . “Yes Dad, a pig’s a hog’s little boy”


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